Is It Enough?

I'm going to reorganize my kitchen...again...and was looking for the wire shelves I had in Henderson. I can only find 4; I had 6 or 7 (at least) back home.

Every now and then I am struck with sadness for all the things I lost in 2013. It was a horrible year. Then I find something small and wonder, of all the things that didn't make it through all the moves that year, how in the world did THIS make it? I keep reminding myself that it is only stuff and that, someday when we have a little money again, I might be able to replace it; but the grief is still there.

I lost more than stuff. I lost close physical proximity with my kids and sister. I lost a home. I lost a volunteer job I LOVED! I lost a bit of my sanity (no joke). I lost a close relationship with a parent. I lost the joy of being able to live in my Mom's beautiful home, working in her garden, being near her spirit. I lost the joy of being near my best friend again. I lost another couple of friends completely through their betrayal. I was sifted like sand through loose mesh and there is not much left. The little that is left is being reshaped and molded by God into something new and it is not always a pleasant experience. I keep reminding myself to be grateful for the little that is left and that God cares enough about me to reshape and mold me into a (hopefully) better person. I am a shell of who I used to be and I am holding onto God with all I have. It is enough.