Having Doubts

Moving is a big deal for me; especially THIS move.  I am giving up so much, leaving so much behind.   It is not a move I have gone into lightly.  The decision has taken many months; almost a year!  I am fully aware what faces me in my future living conditions, which is why it has been such an excruciating decision.  I have bathed this decision in prayer and asked God to let me know, in no uncertain terms, if this is the right decision.  He has spoken to me in various ways over the months and has asked me to move forward in faith that this is the right decision.

I have had individuals who have questioned me and told me just how bad it will be and wonder why I would do such a thing.  I love these individuals and know that they love me and have my best interest at heart.  I appreciate their challenging me and questions.  At my best, I bring these challenges and questions before God so that He can give me answers, direction, and/or comfort.  He never disappoints.

At my worst, I freak out and get depressed, wondering WHY I am doing such a thing and WHY would God encourage it?  It is at these moments that God either lets me know clearly that He is in control, or He asks me to have faith in Him that He in is control.  Last night, He did both.  I read three different devotionals, by three different authors, every night; Scripture is always included in that reading.  After being questioned and told how difficult what I am going to do will be, once again, I was depressed and teary-eyed.  I got into bed and, though I did not feel like reading, I begrudgingly did so.  The following is what God had for me.

In the terrifying moments of life (and all the other moments as well) nothing can bring comfort to the hurting heart like the reality of God’s presence and care.  The psalmist David wrote, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me” (Ps. 23:4)

When fear is overwhelming, the Lord is there.  His comforting presence will carry us through our deepest trials.—Bill Crowder (Our Daily Bread)

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll—

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,

‘It is well, it is well with my soul’.  --Spafford

If we live by the Spirit, we must also follow the Spirit.  We must not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.  Galatians 5:25-26

No cycle—either of victory or defeat—is necessarily permanent as long as we dwell on the earth.  Our patterns or cycles can change and spiral up…or revert and spiral down.  Unfortunately, the Israelites did not abide in the freedom and prosperity of their Promised Land indefinitely.  The idolatry and disobedience that later led to Assyrian and Babylonian captivity grew from roots of prevailing unbelief.

You and I don’t have to follow suit.  The Spirit of the living Christ abides in us, bearing faithfulness as fruit.  We won’t walk in perfect faith for the rest of our lives, but we can walk in prevailing faith.  (Beth Moore, Believing God Day By Day, April 28)

Positively Possible

With men it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.  Mark 10:27

One of the best stories about how faith and confidence in God releases the power of potential took place centuries ago, when many parts of the ancient world were still unsettled.  God promised the people of Israel they would possess a rich and fertile country, known as Canaan.  He didn’t promise them they could step across its borders without opposition, but He did promise them they would inhabit it—and when God makes a promise, He means it.

Taking God at His word, the Israelites appointed twelve men to go into Canaan to “spy out the land” and bring back a report.  Upon their return, ten spies admitted that the land flowed with milk and honey, and acknowledged that the fruit in Canaan was large and beautiful, but then remarked that the land was full of giants who would be impossible to overcome.  They allowed the presence of the giants to detract from the promises of God.

In contrast, Joshua and Caleb brought back good reports, full of faith and confidence in God, and Caleb spoke up with confidence, saying, “Let us go up at once and possess it; we are all able to conquer it” (Num. 13:30).  The ten spies thought the giants in the land were too big to kill, but Joshua and Caleb thought they were too big to miss.  Joshua and Caleb were the only two men who were positive in the face of opposition from the giants.  They didn’t ignore the challenges. But they did not overemphasize them—and they were the only two who entered the Promised Land.

Being positive does not mean we deny the existence of difficulty; it means we believe God is greater than our difficulties.  Believing in God can cause us to win any battle we face.  When we are closed to “positive possibilities” we only see what is right in front of us, not what we could see if we would simply be positive and creative.

You can either be a “10-spy” or a 2-spy,” but you can’t be both.  10-spys trust what they see; 2-spys trust the God of the impossible even when they can’t see Him.  Choose to be a 2-spy today!  (Joyce Meyer, Trusting God Day By Day, April 28)

I am still uncertain of what my future will hold, but God has shown me that not only do I not need to know the details, but I might not want to know the details ahead of time!  Yes, I feel fear about the future, but I know God has decided that this move is what He wants.  He has sent His blessings on ahead and they are waiting for me to go and claim them!