March 8, 2012

One year ago today my little boy, Buster, went to heaven. Sometimes it seems like a nightmare and I will wake up and see his precious face and twinkly eyes staring at me. Buster was a one-of-a-kind dog. He adored me as much as I adored him and he protected me always. Anywhere we'd go, he would put himself between me and the biggest dog around and growl. I still find myself saying how unfair it was that he got cancer and died. It was SO fast! I think of the day I took him to the vet for the surgery he never came out of and wish I could hold him again. He was so scared he peed on the floor and fell over on his side. I want to scoop him up and kiss his sweet face once more and tell him how much I love him and how much he means to me. They say that dogs are not our whole lives, but they make our lives whole. Buster was both for me. He helped me through some pretty traumatic times in his short life. He let me hold him as I sobbed. He was the first dog at the door when I came home from anywhere and his whole body wiggled with delight to see me! When I felt unloved, unwanted, and hideously ugly inside and out, he would touch my leg with his sweet paw to let me know he was there. His favorite thing was to be brushed. His skin would crawl with delight as I ran the brush down his back. He loved to play ball, but never fetched it. He taught me early on that it was my job to fetch it and throw it over and over! He was the slowest eater of the three Cocker Spaniels. He would lay beside his bowl and eat one morsel at a time. God used this sweet angel-puppy to heal my heart and make me feel loved again. And now he has been gone for a whole year. My heart is still broken, even though we have added two more babies to our pack. The pain has eased some, but it is still there. I hold on to the hope that Buster is waiting in heaven for me and I will kiss his sweet cheeks once again. I love you so much Buster-puppy.