Mike and I are watching the television show “Parenthood” now. It has me shaking my head and wondering why people have kids at all!
In one scene all the moms and the grandma are together discussing kids and someone said, “What is it about daughters?” The grandma said, “ They hate their mothers. That got me thinking. If Bekah hated me, she sure hid it well. We spent a lot of time together, went shopping, had a newspaper route together, I homeschooled her. Yes, we had issues, but i never felt hatred from her.
David, on the other hand, did hate me. At least off and on. He slammed his bedroom door in my face often. Yelled at me a lot. And as a young married man, on the advice of a certain ‘counselor,’ sent a letter to Mike (the day before Mother's Day, no less) saying he wanted nothing more to do with me. That began a 2.5 year period of silence between us. I tried contacting him many times with no response. I sent birthday cards which were returned unopened. He and his wife invited Mike to meet with them, but I was not invited.
Things have gotten better. I don't think David hates me anymore. But it is not just daughters who hate their mothers. People should forget the rumor that only daughters hate their mothers.
It doesn’t matter if a mom works outside the home or stays home. I have thought hard about if it would have been different for me and my kids if I worked outside the home, as opposed to being home with them. And also if I had sent them to public school as opposed to homeschooling them. I think it all boils down to temperaments. My sons temperament was much different from my daughters. Not better, not worse, just different. And my temperament was different from both of them. Also, although I was/am married, Mike's presence in our home was almost non-existent due to alcoholism and drug addiction.
Maybe David’s anger toward me was a result of his dad not being present, even when he was home, and David couldn’t take it out on Mike because Mike was drunk and didn’t care at the moment.
Boys need their dads desperately. Girls need their moms. And both need the involvement of both parents!
Would I have done life differently if I had this information before I had kids? I wish I knew the answer. Before I had them, I thought I would be the perfect parent, and so did Mike. Of course, that was before Mike started drinking and doing drugs. I had NO idea that would happen! However, if I had known about Mike doing drugs and becoming an alcoholic, I would have left him before I ever had kids.
