In the past year and a half there have been a lot of losses in my life. My sister died; the day I tested positive for Covid, my precious aunt died; then my heart and soul (my precious dog) died; and my beloved uncle died. To top it all off, as a result of having Covid a year ago, I now suffer with Long Covid (LC). There are numerous symptoms that come with LC. The most distressing for me is the extreme fatigue and brain fog, my arthritis has also gotten worse and so has my asthma, among other things. Life has become painful and difficult.
How does one cope with so much death and illness in the span of a year and a half? There are days when the fatigue and brain fog of LC has me sitting in my rocking chair like a zombie, unable to do much. The sadness of losing loved ones is overwhelming. I used to say that when my dog, Mozzie, died, I would have to be sedated. Without him, there would be no more reason for living. I wonder if God, in His loving care of me, allowed me to have extreme fatigue and brain fog so I could cope with living without Mozzie? Maybe, maybe not; but I do feel sedated a lot of the time. I think about him all the time!
I am grateful that we still have Sweetie, our Chiweenie. She has been a source of cuddles and comfort since Mozzie died. God knew I would need her. Also, on July 5th of this year, we adopted a fourteen-and-a-half-year-old Dachshund named Mac. The night before, his human daddy lost his long battle with cancer and Mac needed us. I dare say we needed him, too. Especially Mike. Thus, God has brought comfort to us in our grief.
Another loss this past year has been my ability to keep up with my sewing business. As an emotional result of LC, I could no longer keep up with the demands of sewing. So last November I put my Etsy shop on vacation mode until February 1st. When the end of January came, I knew I needed more time, so I gave myself until June 1st. While I have taken my shop off vacation mode, business is at a standstill, and I have been fine with that.
I didn't realize I had LC until the beginning of this year. I truly thought I was simply going crazy and/or being supremely lazy. Until I found a group on Facebook comprised of people who suffer with LC! There are hundreds of us! Maybe more. I discussed it with my doctor and she agreed that I have LC.
Long Covid has affected my walk with God to a degree. While I still have faith and trust in Him, pray and have quiet times daily, I sometimes feel a bit of disconnect. My symptoms keep me home from church. Staying awake while sitting is hard. I have to use a walking cane now because of my arthritis, and standing up after sitting for a period of time is difficult. And I am prone to loud coughing fits. So we watch our church services online. That is better than nothing, but I have found myself wishing I could go to church and be involved somehow.
